On Being a Victim

If you want to hear from the victim of a crime that was committed years ago and think you are standing up for their rights by screaming about things through media posts and rants, you need to think again. As a person who has been a victim, I can say that no one should have to live as a victim for their entire life. No one should have to remain a victim because of public outcry against the actions of their offender.

A person is a victim only as long as they hang on to the hatred and violence that is committed against them. It is a hard road to walk. It is lonely and desolate and should not last for all eternity. They should be allowed to move on.

Continually posting and reposting and ranting and raving about some crime you read about in the media, no matter your intention, is not helping the victim of the crime in any way. You are perpetuating their status as a victim and keeping them in that lonely and desolate place, helpless and hopeless.

Given that none of us are God, none of us have the ability or need to forgive something that has happened to another person. Ever. If the victim can forgive and has moved on, then shut up. It’s none of your business.

We’ve become a world of busy bodies who build ourselves up by thinking we’re helping “victims” by screaming about what has been done to them, by making people take notice or stand up for their “rights”. Truth is, often times, it makes life worse for the victim, not better.

By failing to recognize how very human we all are, by continually replaying the evil that lurks in every soul, we damn anyone who has ever been a victim to a life of solitude, silence, and unforgiveness. The louder and longer we scream, the less chance the victim has to live a life as anything other than a victim.

I refused to be a victim forever. And I refuse to keep anyone else a victim by believing that I have some right to their pain and grief. We all have our own paths to walk and while we can feel compassion for other’s suffering we have no rights to claim it as our own.


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