Day twenty – 25 days of compassion

I don’t know what to write tonight. Maybe the rest of the world is right. Maybe compassion doesn’t exist. Maybe I just wanted it to be there, everywhere, because I so desperately didn’t want to be alone in believing that compassion can change the world.

But the most compassionate person in the world, dropped into a tank of sharks, will still be ripped to shreds.

“Never use anyone to dilute your own loneliness.”

I read that in a blog tonight. It was a quote in their blog without credit, so I have no credit to give. But it’s a brilliant piece of advice more people need to follow.

I’ve been used that way. Multiple times. Honestly, I’m tired of it. I’m done trusting. I’m done with compassion. I’m done caring. I’m done trying. I’m done helping. I’m done appreciating. I’m done …

I’m only a person … faults and all. I break. I hurt. I feel. And I’m broken.

I’m done.

 

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2 thoughts on “Day twenty – 25 days of compassion

  1. Erin I am so sorry you’re feeling this way. You have every right to feel this way – we are all fallible and human and we hurt and we get broken… but I also know you believe in compassion – we both do – we’ve shared that. And just because you don’t feel it right now, doesn’t mean you won’t feel a trace of it tomorrow or the next day or the one after that. And if it takes a week or two or seventeen to come back – that’s ok. Think of it like this: you used up your supply and are awaiting a new shipment! No one’s fault, no blame, no drama, just a simple case of supply and demand, and the logistics got a bit screwed up. It will get sorted – maybe not today, but at some point. And whether it’s compassion, or caring or empathy or kindness – I hope you find it in the way others treat you – take some from other people – you can have some of mine as I have enough to spare. Be kind to you and know that you are allowed to be ‘done’ right now. I’m hoping I won’t be the only one who offers you some compassion, some care and kindness – it’s that sort of week when just sometimes, good things come out of the woodwork (like Christmas!) and I hope you will be gifted, treated with enough kindness and goodness to fill you up to overflowing…. I wish you kindness as well as peace my friend 🙂

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